A story I'm writing

You are not connected. Please login or register

Go to page : 1, 2  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 2]

1 A story I'm writing on Wed 22 Sep 2010, 22:52


Chapter One

Kynan stared in horror as Micah held the gun positioned between Lorin's eyes and pulled the trigger. Time seemed to move slowly as Lorin fell to the ground, the life already gone from her blue eyes.An agonized cry ripped its way from his throat and he cradled Lorin's body against his chest.

"Micah, I swear to god, you will pay for this. I will hunt you down until you're dead."
A dark chuckle told Kynan that the other man wasn't afraid.

"You can try, but like you failed to save your wife, you will fail to kill me."

Kynan jolted awake, a thick sheen of cold sweat covered his body as he placed his face in his hands. How long was that nightmare going to haunt him? Until he went insane? He swore to kill that bastard for what he did. It had been five years. Five damn years since Lorin was killed and he still hadn't managed to find a single trace of Micah. He made a promise to Lorin that he would keep her safe and he failed her. Sighing, he stood up, threw on a pair of jeans, and headed downstairs.

"You really need to get some better coffee man, cause no offense, but this shit is nasty."

Kynan jumped at the sound of the familiar voice.
"What the hell Riden? It's six am. Don't you have someone else to annoy?"
Riden shrugged took another drink, and grimaced.
"Dude, seriously. Let me buy your coffee."
"Don't drink it if you don't like it. And you didn't answer my question. What the hell are you doing here?"
"Shya got a lead on Micah. Problem is, you can't have revenge on him."
Kynan frowned. Was this Shy's way of torturing him, cause it was working.
"Well why the hell not? I've hunted that son of a bitch down for five years and now, when we've finally found him, I can't kill him? Lorin was my wife for god's sake. I deserve at least that much. Lorin deserves it."
Riden sighed and set his coffee cup down on the table.
"I know man, but the reason you can't go after him, is because he has a hostage. Jem Magnus."
At the sound of the name, Kynan's blood ran cold.
"Are you sure? Please god tell me it's not Jem."
Riden frowned and glanced at Kynan, green eyes flashing with confusion.
"You know her?"

Grimly, Kynan nodded. He and Jem had dated, five years before he met Lorin. She left him and he'd closed his heart to everyone. Until Lorin. Jem had been the one woman he thought he'd spend forever with, until she betrayed him, shattering his trust and his heart. He never expected to her name mentioned again.
"She and I...dated five years before I met Lorin."
"You loved her." It was more of a statement than a question.
"I did. But she must not have felt the same way about me because two months after we'd been together for a year, she disappeared. Just packed her things and left without saying good-bye. No explanations, no apologies. She just left. I haven't heard from her since the day before she left. When I...when I asked her to marry me."

Last edited by kronik_khaos on Thu 23 Sep 2010, 17:53; edited 4 times in total

View user profile

2 Re: A story I'm writing on Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:01

awesome, keep writing! :D

View user profile

3 Re: A story I'm writing on Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:03


Thanks Deandra!

View user profile

4 Re: A story I'm writing on Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:04

your welcome :D

View user profile

5 Re: A story I'm writing on Wed 22 Sep 2010, 23:04


Chapter two should be up by tomorrow.

View user profile

6 Re: A story I'm writing on Thu 23 Sep 2010, 04:55


Eye of the Storm
its good but i find the font kinda annoying to read....

View user profile

7 Re: A story I'm writing on Thu 23 Sep 2010, 09:39


Global Moderator
I like it... not usually my cup of tea, but I like what I've read so far...

Keep it up!

Your Humble Global Moderator,
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Gonna fight the war and use my music as a weapon
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
View user profile

8 Re: A story I'm writing on Thu 23 Sep 2010, 10:27


writing tip: separate dialogue and paragraphs so it's easier for readers to read. :)

Great work Jen, keep it up! ^-^

View user profile

9 Re: A story I'm writing on Thu 23 Sep 2010, 11:35


Thanks for the feedback guys! As for the font Radek, I will change that when I post the next chapter. I tried to separate dialogue and paragraphs but it evidently didn't work. I'll go back and see if I can edit it and try to make chapter two readable for others. Thanks for the tip Rei. ((:

Sadly I am unable to separate the dialogue and paragraphs, but, I will keep trying. ((:

View user profile

10 Re: A story I'm writing on Thu 23 Sep 2010, 15:18


Eye of the Storm
Its Catchy ^^

Keep it up Jennehh

View user profile

11 Re: A story I'm writing on Thu 23 Sep 2010, 16:39


Thanks Martimmehh ((:

View user profile

12 Re: A story I'm writing on Fri 24 Sep 2010, 01:08


God of the Mind
That's really good. I'm hooked already. I can't wait to read more!

View user profile

13 Re: A story I'm writing on Fri 24 Sep 2010, 08:58


the edit was actually pretty significant. i can read it better now :)

View user profile

14 Re: A story I'm writing on Fri 24 Sep 2010, 17:07


Yeah, I figured it out.

View user profile

15 Re: A story I'm writing on Fri 24 Sep 2010, 17:56


Chapter Two

"You did what?"

Kynan sighed, he knew Riden wouldn't understand. He wasn't into relationships. In fact, Riden hated them. Always had.

"Not your business Ri. Never was."

Riden's eerie emerald eyes flashed as he glared at Kynan.

"Not my business? Like hell it's not. Why the hell didn't you tell me?"
"You would've tried to talk me out of it."
"And it would have saved you from fucking up your life." Riden slammed his fist into the wall, "God dammit K, where the hell was your head during all this?"
"My head was screwed onto my shoulders. Where's yours?"

Riden ignored the comment and continued shouting.

"I guess it wasn't screwed on tight enough. K, you have serious issues. The first woman left and the second one died. What's wrong with you?"
"Apparently everything."
"I noticed. Why K? Why in hell would you put yourself through that shit?"

Kynan laughed darkly and stepped past Riden.

"I'm a masochist."

Riden began pacing the room.

"Well obviously."
"Don't start with a lecture because I'm not going to change."
"Dammit, why do have to be so damned stubborn?"

Kynan laughed again.

"My parents asked me the same question. Never did get an answer."
"You can't do the mission K. We can't allow personal feelings to get in the way."
"I can promise you that whatever feelings I had for Jem died the day I met Lorin."
"That better be true or Shy will kick your ass."

Kynan snorted.

"Tell Shy to bring it. I ain't scared."
"Just promise me something bro."
"Don't you dare fall in love with her again."
"No worries. I plan on falling for anyone especially her."
"Could it be? K's finally coming to his senses?"

Kynan laughed and smacked Riden on the arm.

"Can it bro. You still haven't came to yours so be sayin' shit."
"Funny. Anyway, Shy wants you at HQ in thirty minutes."
"I'll be there, not get your butt out of here and find someone else to annoy for a while.

Riden laughed and headed for the door but stopped and turned to face Kynan.

"Oh, and bro? Don't sleep with her either."
"Again, no worries so quit being paranoid."
"Good, 'cause I don't wanna deal with your relationship issues again."

Chuckling, Kynan shut the door and sighed.He hadn't heard from Jem in ten years and when he finally does, he finds she's been kidnapped by Micah. Another reason to kill that bastard.

"Dammit. Why does this have to happen now? I can't deal with it."

Balling his fists, he went upstairs to prepare for what he feared would be the biggest mistake of his life. He just hoped it was worth it.

Jem stared up at the man in front of her and internally cringed. He would've been handsome but his face looked tired and worn, like a man who'd seen too much of the world.

"I'll ask you again you little whore. Do you or do you not know where Kynan Strider is?"

Jem lifted her chin and fixed him with a hard, defiant stare.
Micah growled and pulled her face to his.

"I'll just force it from you then."

Before Jem could even make a sound, he slammed his mouth against hers and forced his tongue between her lips.
Tears stung her eyes as he pushed her down and took her bottom lip between his teeth.

"You know him, don't you baby?"
"Get your disgusting hands off of me."

The only response that got her was slap across the face.

"I swear, when I get out of here, I will gut you like the animal you are."

Micah laughed, a harsh sound that raked across her eardrums.
Leaning closer, he trailed his tongue down the side of her neck and bit down on her skin hard, making her cry out n pain.

"Now, tell me what you know."

View user profile

16 Re: A story I'm writing on Sat 25 Sep 2010, 10:46


Eye of the Storm

View user profile

17 Re: A story I'm writing on Sat 25 Sep 2010, 12:24


I take you like it Radkehh?

View user profile

18 Re: A story I'm writing on Sun 26 Sep 2010, 01:27


God of the Mind
Whoa, this shit is INTENSE!! Great post, I can't wait for the next chapter!

View user profile

19 Re: A story I'm writing on Sun 26 Sep 2010, 10:07


Thanks! I'll be posting more as soon as I get the chance!

View user profile

20 Re: A story I'm writing on Wed 13 Oct 2010, 06:53


Sorry guys, been a little busy with school lately but I should be posting chapters three, four and five very soon.

View user profile

21 Re: A story I'm writing on Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:58


God of the Mind
I await their posting.

View user profile

22 Re: A story I'm writing on Wed 13 Oct 2010, 21:45


I should have three up tomorrow. Four might be up Friday or Saturday and five is in the rewrite process as of ten minutes ago.

View user profile

23 Re: A story I'm writing on Fri 05 Nov 2010, 18:50


iv read it...you happy now? Lol

View user profile

24 Re: A story I'm writing on Mon 03 Jan 2011, 22:27


YAYZ!!! Conor read it! What did ya think?

View user profile

25 Re: A story I'm writing on Fri 28 Jan 2011, 21:16


Chapter Three

Kynan was ready to kill when he left Shy's office thirty minutes later. The content he'd received on Jem's situation made his blood boil. Micah had pretended to be her lover, and when he'd gained her trust, he brutally betrayed her, taking her hostage in an abandoned warehouse.
Muttering angrily to himself, Kynan walked over to his Harley and made a mental list of what he needed.
Gun belt, check. Ammo, check. Medical equipment, check. Was he missing anything? He didn't think so.
Without a second glance at the building behind him, he sped off to save Jem.


"You still refuse to tell me my sweet?" Micah whispered against her ear as his hands stroked her hair.
Jem wanted to shove him off of her but knew it would get her nowhere. Instead, she remained quiet. A frustrated grunt told her that his patience was wearing thin. She smiled.
"A smile? Ah, you want to play games huh?" A slow methodic grin lit up his rough features, "I like games."
He took the flesh at her neck between his teeth then sucked the wound.
Jem internally cringed in disgust as he gripped her hips and pulled her against him.
Micah's mouth slammed down on hers, his tongue forcing her lips open as he intruded in her mouth.
A sudden click made Micah freeze.
"Let her go, or I will go against orders and kill you where you stand."
A low laugh erupted from Micah and Jem froze. She knew that voice, she hadn't heard it in ten years, but it was still the same, rough edged voice she'd loved so much.
"So, my plan worked after all. Here you are coming to save her like I knew you would. Are you ready to watch another woman you love die?"
Kynan grit his teeth and moved the gun to the back of Micah's head, finger poised just above the trigger.
"I won't ask you again." Kynan growled through his teeth, "Let. Her. Go."
Micah turned and faced him. He was older, but other than that he hadn't changed.
"And why would I do that?"
"You wanted me right? You don't need her anymore."
"I don't need her. Maybe I should kill her."
A bullet shot past Micah and smashed into a window, shattering the glass.
Jem jumped out of the way as shards of glass rained down from the window above her.
"What the hell? Are you rescuing me or trying to maim me?"
"Sorry sweetheart, occupational hazard." Glaring at Micah he motioned for Jem to stand behind him.
When she took a few steps toward him, Micah grabbed her from behind, a knife held against her throat.
"She stays. Make one more move, and she dies."
Kynan cursed. It was Lorin all over again. Only the difference was, he didn't love her, he wanted an explanation.
"Kill her, and we'll both regret it. I'm leaving with her, or over you dead corpse."
Suddenly the knife was ripped away from Jem and Micah was on the floor. Gasping, she glanced at Kynan who looked just as stunned as she felt.
"Kynan, get her the hell out of here while I clean up this mess."
"Shy, what the fuck are you doing here? This is my mission."
Shy put his gun away and briefly glanced at Micah's unmoving body before looking at Kynan.
"I had a feeling you'd need my help. Looks like I was right. Next time, do things my way and not your own. You were supposed to get in, get the girl, and get out. It was simple as that Kynan. I get in here and what do I find? Micah holding a knife to her throat and you about to shoot his brains all over the damn wall. Now, get her out of here before he wakes up. He's gonna have one hell of a headache when he does."
Eyes narrowed, Kynan lifted Jem into his arms and started for the door.
"I do know how to walk. My legs aren't broken."
"Yes, but there's glass ion the floor and you're barefoot. I'm trying to save your life not injure you."
Jem glared but allowed Kynan to carry her to his Harley. She'd forgotten how strong his arms were and how good they felt holding her.
"When it's time, can I be the one to kill Micah? I owe him a bullet or two."
"Because, Micah's my kill."
Jem pouted, the look just as beautiful as Kynan remembered.
"What did he do to you besides take me captive?"
Kynan stared dead ahead as he spoke, "He killed my wife in front of me."

View user profile

Sponsored content

View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 2]

Go to page : 1, 2  Next

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum



Free forum | © PunBB | Free forum support | Contact | Report an abuse | Forumotion.com