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26 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Fri 04 Jun 2010, 17:27

tswmcello


Believer
Absolutely killer!! Awesome!!

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27 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Fri 04 Jun 2010, 21:22

Bowers


Immortalized
very impressive rei :)

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28 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Fri 04 Jun 2010, 22:15

Dawn_Cato


Global Moderator
Well..I think the storyline is good and I'm wondering if this is a dream/goal of an idea for yourself?Do you like the performing arts....do you want to be an actor?I think it's great that people want to keep the performing arts alive all around the world.This thread caught my eye because #1 this was good reading #2 I am an Executive Board member/Treasure for a non profit to educate young adults about Broadway musicals and I just want to say never give up writing...you just never know what opportunity may fall in your lap.



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29 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Fri 04 Jun 2010, 22:59

Yumiyuri


Immortalized
Dawn_Cato wrote:Well..I think the storyline is good and I'm wondering if this is a dream/goal of an idea for yourself?Do you like the performing arts....do you want to be an actor?I think it's great that people want to keep the performing arts alive all around the world.This thread caught my eye because #1 this was good reading #2 I am an Executive Board member/Treasure for a non profit to educate young adults about Broadway musicals and I just want to say never give up writing...you just never know what opportunity may fall in your lap.

Thank you ^-^

Actually, I'm entering my last year of high school in a few days and I seriously want to take up Creative Writing as my course xD


And thanks for the reviews/feedback Ive gotten so far! You guys are the reason why I want to keep on writing! xD

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30 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Sat 05 Jun 2010, 08:36

Yumiyuri


Immortalized
Chapter Seven everyone! Thank you for the positive feedback so far! Feel free to suggest an idea or criticize, it'll help me be a better writer!

Chapter Seven

They had Elena Daveigh's body cremated the very next day. Maxime then scattered the ashes over her father's grave, reuniting husband and wife at least. As she, Devon, Dan, and David stood over the grave, Maxime swore she saw him standing in the shadows of a nearly tree.

The angel from her nightmare.

Another week passed and the concert's continuation came. Maxime had insisted that they continue the canceled performance as soon as possible so as not to further disappoint their fans.

"Why do you want to o it so soon?" David had asked.
"To forget. To numb the pain," she had replied. "I just want to put her behind me forever."

That night, Maxime stood onstage, facing the crowd. All was silent, as if they knew what she was feeling. It was their last song, their finale.

"My mother died last week," Maxime said softly into the mike. "And I know that you are all probably wondering why we held a continuation so son. I'll tell you why." Her voice broke a little and she had to take a deep breath before continuing. "I want...I want this last song to be dedicated to her. She may have done so many wrong things, but she was my mother. This song is for her."

It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth either. The rest of the band knew that this song was Maxime's last step to push all the painful memories behind her.

Dan began to play a soft, beautiful tune on his acoustic guitar and Maxime began to sing:

Sensation washes over me
I can't describe it
Pain I felt so long ago
I don't remember

Tear a hole so I can see
My devastation
Feelings from so long ago
I don't remember


Tears welled up her eyes as Maxime remembered the years when her family was happy, whole. Life was perfect.

Holding on, to let them know
What's given to me, given to me
To hide behind
The mask this time
And try to believe


She tried to keep her voice steady, strong. She forced herself to shove the memories at the back of her head. David and Devon joined Dan's guitar.

Blind your eyes to what you see
You can't embrace it
Leave it well enough alone
And don't remember

Cut your pride and watch it bleed
You can't deny it
Pain you know you can't ignore
I don't remember


The acoustic tunes gave way to metal and the fans began to cheer.

Holding on, to let them know
What's given to me, given to me
To hide behind
The mask this time
And try to believe


With each word she sang, Maxime felt stronger. She smiled and began to sing louder, drawing power from the crowd.

If I can remember
To know this will conquer me
If I can just walk alone
And try to escape into me


Then, her voice gradually dropped to a whisper:

Sensation washes over me
I can't describe it
Pain I felt so long ago
I don't remember


She then gave it all she got, pouring her heart and soul into the song:

I'm just holding on, to let them know
What's given to me, given to me
To hide behind
The mask this time
And try to believe



If I can remember
To know this will conquer me
If I can just walk alone
And try to escape into me


Into me...
Into me...


When the song finished, Maxime walked offstage, collapsed into a folding chair, and began to cry. She felt several arms wrap around her and she knew that she wasn't alone. She sighed and spent her tears into the loving embrace of her friends - the only family she had left.

Maxime soon moved out of the dreary apartment that was once her prison. Now that her mother was gone, she no longer saw a reason to stay.

Sorry if it was short xD

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31 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Sat 05 Jun 2010, 10:21

Bowers


Immortalized
i can't wait for chapter 8 :)

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32 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Sat 05 Jun 2010, 20:33

GuiltyPleasures


Global Moderator
Okay, I've read the whole thing, and it's incredible writing!

I started writing when I was younger than you are now. But, there was no internet to post my writings on. I got encouragement from my teachers (especially my 4th grade teacher who told my parents I had talent in creative writing) and my peers.

Keep up the good work!



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33 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Sat 05 Jun 2010, 21:19

Yumiyuri


Immortalized
Thank you! xD

Sorry guys, I'll have to delay posting the next chapter for a while. I'll try posting it on Saturday, I promise

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34 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Fri 11 Jun 2010, 13:21

Yumiyuri


Immortalized
Okay, here's Chappie 8! Sorry, no songs on this one xD

Chapter 8


"Are you sure it's okay?" Maxime asked as the twins carried her bags in.
David grinned as he set one bag beside the couch. "It's fine. We do recall asking you to move out of that hell-hole a lot of times."
"More than I could count," Dan added setting the other bag beside the first. "Sorry we couldn't bring the bed here."
"The couch is fine," Maxime said quickly. "I promised not to be too much of a bother."
"You were never a bother and you never will be," Dan said. "And you can have my bed. I'll sleep on the couch."
"I know you're quite the gentleman, Danny, but she can have my bed," David cut in. "You hate sleeping on couches, so you don't have to do this."
"So do you, Dave," Dan argued.
"You hate it more!" David shot back.
"No, you do!"
"Like hell you do!"
"You, you asshole!"
"No, you motherfucker!"

The twins began to argue and Maxime sighed. She was beginning to have second thoughts about moving in with the twins. Their gestures of kindness sometimes resulted in this.

"HEY!" she shouted before they could begin a rumble. "You both can keep the fucking beds! I'll sleep on the couch."
"But-" the twins protested.
"NO BUTS!" she snapped. The fact that she was swearing meant that she was about to lose it. "Look, you guys are going in what, a week? I'll sleep on the couch until you guys go then I'll borrow the beds 'til you get back. Sound okay to you?"

She glared at them, as if daring them to refuse the offer. David and Dan looked at each other, weighing their options.She crossed her arms, waiting for their answer.

"That's...not a bad idea," Dan finally said.
"deal," the twins said.

That night, Maxime couldn't sleep. She was restless, her mind troubled by the nightmare that played over and over again in her memory. As the twins slept nearby, she got up, opened the window, and climbed up to the roof.

There was no wind, and all she could see were the tops of various buildings in the city.Thugs, drunkards, and hookers prowled below, doing what they did best. They disturbed the peacefulness of the quiet night, destroyed the serenity of the midnight sky. Maxime sat on the ledge of the roof, looking up at the heavens, one foot dangling.

Was she going insane? Did she really see him during the concert and at the funeral? Or was she just hallucinating, bring her nightmare to life?

"I assure you, it's more than a nightmare," an unfamiliar voice whispered beside her.

Maxime turned to the direction of the voice and gasped, nearly falling off the roof. But a warm, powerful hand grabbed her forearm, keeping her steady.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have startled you," said the intruder.

He was a man who looked to be in his early twenties, with dark, dark brown hair and eyes that were ruby red. Maxime stared straight into them. They were the same as the angel in her nightmare...but gentler, warmer. Is it possible that it was the same angel, but in a different form? Maxime looked at the wings that stretched behind him. They were blood red, same as her nightmare angel.

"Who...are you?" she asked.
He looked at her for a long while before replying. "I am Azrael."

Maxime got off the ledge, not believing what she was seeing. Was it possible that she was dreaming again?
Did she doze off?

"I'm having another dream again, am I?" she said, more to herself than the being before her. "Yeah, that's it. I'm dreaming and anytime now, I'll wake up."

Suddenly, the angel called Azrael reached over and gave her a hard pinch on the arm.

"Ow!" Maxime rubbed the spot. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Proving you aren't dreaming," he said as he sat on the ledge.
"I must be dreaming," Maxime said in bewilderment. ""You...you can't possible be real!"
"I assure you, I am," he said softly. "You've met him, am i right? He's begun to plague you."
"Him?"
"Azazel. He's been following you for some time now, am I right?"

Was he referring to the angel from her nightmare?

"I...I think so," Maxime said. "He...he was in my nightmare."
"He's a nightmare in his own right," Azrael said. "And you must never listen to him."
"Why should I listen to you?!" Maxime snapped."You suddenly appear, telling me about your freaky friend while you're as freaky as he is! This Azazel guy told me that he could make my life better and you're telling me no to listen to him? Why should I trust you?!"
Azrael seemed unperturbed. "because Azazel is not who he appears to be. His eyes turned cold. "And he's not my friend. He's hasn't been for centuries."
"What are you guys?" she found herself asking. "Angels?"
"We used to be. It was a very, very, very long time ago."
"Used to?"
He stared at her. "Azazel is fallen. As am I."

Maxime gaped at him. This shouldn't be happening, it was impossible! She waited for someone to yell out "PUNKED!", but no one did.

"Fallen?" she asked. "Like what, Lucifer?"
"Something like that," Azrael said. "This is why you shouldn't listen to Azazel, no matter how many promises he makes. he wants you to fall, just like we did."
"I'm already fallen. Look at how shitty my life is now. Besides, you fell too, right? Why should I trust you... Azrael?"

He stood before her, his wings brushing against her body. His gaze held hers, and for a few minutes, neither of them spoke.

"Because...I'm trying to save you," he said. "I don't want to fail again."
"Why do you want to save me?" Maxime asked. "I'm nobody."
"I always try to stop Azazel's victims from falling."
"But why would he want me?"
"Because your life has made you vulnerable to his advances. You have to resist him, Maxime. You must stay strong." He stepped away from her. "Don't give in to him."
"Can't I just...call the police to have him leave me alone?"
"On;y you can see us, hear us, talk to us. I'll be here, Maxime. If you need me, just call my name."

Maxime's eyes opened and she sat up, finding herself back on the couch in David and Dan's apartment. Moonlight streamed through the open window, and a light breeze blew through the room.

"Was that...another dream?" Maxime wondered.

She felt something tucked under her hand that was under the blanket. Maxime pulled it out and her eyes widened.

It was a crimson feather.

"I guess that one was real," Mazime whispered to herself.

The next day, Maxime woke up to the sound of a certain someone playing loud riffs on his guitar. The smell of pancakes drifted around the apartment.

"Danny, turn that damn thing off before I smash it over your head," Maxime groaned, pulling a pillow over her head. She heard Dan laugh and continue playing.
"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!" David's (or Dan's) voice sang out. "We got breakfast ready!"

Maxime threw her pillow in the voice's direction and pulled the blanket up over her head. It barely stayed there for five seconds before someone pulled it off her.

"Hey!" Maxime was wide awake now. "David! Give that back!"
"No more sleeping!" David said as he evaded Maxime's grabs for her blanket. "It's a beautiful day and we're going out!"
"Out where?" Maxime asked. She surrendered any chance of going back to sleep and followed the twins to the dining table.

"We are going to go have some fun today," Dan said as they piled pancakes on her plate. "You and Devon need a break. So, we're all going out."

Maxime grinned and geedily wolfed down the tower of pancakes before her.

"That's fine with me," she said with her mouth full. "As long as I get to shower first."

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35 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Fri 11 Jun 2010, 15:49

Bowers


Immortalized
really good rei

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36 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Tue 15 Jun 2010, 19:40

Mad_Capsule


Stupified
Looking good Rei, you're good at writing can't wait for more! Just to be pedantic, when talking about microphones it's shortened to 'mic' not 'mike', noticed you made that mistake a few times. I like how you incorporate the songs and look forward to seeing which other ones you put into it! I thought Darkness might have fit well at the part where her mum dies, nice and soft. But yeah, I'm waffling, keep going it's good haha

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37 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:28

Azrael91


Disturbed One
Rei your musical is great! I really love it! Couldn't stop reading 'till the end!

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38 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Mon 21 Jun 2010, 03:09

Disturbed1forEternity


God of the Mind
It's fantastic! I love it! The way you've incorporated the lyrics is astounding, something that, even I, having BEEN published before, could not have achieved. Wonderful work, and I look forward to the next chapter.

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39 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Mon 21 Jun 2010, 10:13

Yumiyuri


Immortalized
Thanks for the feedback guys! Here's the next chapter for all of you to enjoy! (Lol, I hope this gets to be performed someday or something xD)

Chapter Nine

The four of them went to the theme park on the other side of town. They met Devon at the entrance, and though some people occassionally asked for an autograph or a picture be taken with them, they had lots of fun exploring the different rides, booths, and games.

At some point, they separated to go explore the park on their own. They each promised to meet up by the roller coaster, which they would ride last together before going home.

"I'm guseeing you miss your mother until now," a voice said as she tried a shooting game.
Maxime looked sharply beside her. "You're...you're Azazel,." she managed to say steadily.

She knew it was impossible that she was dreaming now. He stood beside her, temptation personified, invisible to anyone but her. This she knew because a guy with large red wings would be getting a lot of attention by now. And he wasn't.

All that beauty...only for her eyes.

Maxime mentally slapped herself. What the hell was she thinking?!

"So, now you know my name," Azazel said as he stroked a lock of hair that had escaped from her braid. "I'm guessing he told you about me?"
"He?" Maxime tried to stay calm and focus on the game. But how can she, with his touch alone making her melt inside?
"Don't play stupid Max. It doesn't suit you at all." He was stroking her cheek now, and though her mind screamed for her to slap it away, her body wanted, ached, for more. "Azrael has already begun. And he wants to win so bad this time."
"Then maybe you should let him." Level 2 complete. She moved on to Level 3.
"He laughed. "And lose a delectable prize such as yourself? Not in all eternity, my dear.I intend to always win this silly game we've been playing. And for many centuries the prize always goes to me." His hot breath was at her nape, sending shivers down her spine. "You will be mine, Maxime."
Maxime forced herself to concentrate on the zombies onscreen. "Not in a million years."
"And what makes you so sure about that?"
"Because..." she smirked at him. "Because I already belong to Azrael." She loved the look on his face as the words fell from her lips. "Yeah, that's right, angel boy. My body and soul belong to Azrael. So you can go leave me alone."

Azazel looked like he'd been slapped. Maxime lost her last life as the zombies overwhelmed her. She signed and left the game. As she walked way from Azazel, she heard his voice in her head, filled with venom and fury.

"You lie, Max. And that lie was an insult right in my face. You're going to pay for that lie and insult very dearly. You can count on that."

She knew that his red eyes were practically burning a hole thorugh her back as she walked out of the arcade.

Azrael knew that Maxime was a tough choice for Azazel. His victims usually fell for him in a few days, the longest he could remember was a week. Then, he remembered that some of Azazel's victims chose to end their lives than suffer in life or give their soul to him.

"Maxime will be different," he said to himself as he flew underthe blanket of the night sky. "She's strong."

Azazel was now focusing on reaping less "difficult" souls, aside from trying to reap Maxime's. Azrael knew that Azazel was getting impatient, and took it as a good sign.

He found the fallen angel standing on top of the twins' apartment building, his eyes transfixed in anger and lust. His horde stood by him, grinning and thinking malicious ideas.

"You won't go near her tonight," Azrael said as he landed. "I won't allow it."
"I don't need to," Azazel said. "I will not disturb her tonight. I'll allow you victory for this time only. Tonight, I look for souls to claim."
"Then leave this place," Azrael said. "She's only one soul, azazel. There are many others."
"No, I have chosen her as my latest prize. She's mine." Azazel smiled evilly.

Azrael's hands curled into fists and his eyes blazed with anger. He began to sing:

Tell me exactly what am I supposed to do?
Now that I have allowed you to beat me!
Do you think that we could play another game?
Maybe I can win this time?


Azazel ignored him and flew down until he was at level to Maxime's window. Azrael followed him, ready to strike if Azazel tried to hurt her. But the angel merely watched Maxime sleep, singing as if she could hear him:

I kind of like the misery you put me through.
Darling, you can trust me completely.
If you even try to look the other way,
I think that I could kill this time.


The demond around him laughed and clawed at the window, trying to get to the sleeping girl inside.

Rah! Rah! they growled. Rah! Rah!

Azazel continued to sing to Maxime, oblivious to Azrael's presence:

It doesn't really seem I'm getting through to you.
Though I see you weeping so sweetly.
I think that you might have to take another taste,
A little bit of hell this time!


Azazel's face contorted with fury as his minions continued to dance around him and the window.

Rah! Rah! the demons growled.
Lie to me! Azazel shouted.
Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!

Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
Is she not right?!
Is she insane?!
Will she now run for her life
now that she LIED TO ME!


Azazel swooped down and began to fly about the polluted neighborhood, searching for those who were weak enough to be tempted. Azrael followed, singing loudly so that Azazel could hear him:

You always wanted people to remember you.
To leave your little mark on society!
Don't you know your wish is coming true today?
Another victim dies tonight!


Azazel laughed as a man shot a woman and grabbed her belongings. Azrael shook his head sadly. The demons around Azazel ran around the street, clinging to those corrupted people, whispering evil in their ears.

Rah! Rah! the demons growled again.
Lie to me! Azazel cried.
Rah! Rah!
Lie to me!

Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
Is she not right?!
Is she insane?!
Will she now run for her life
now that she LIED TO ME!


The two angels dived in and out of tall buildings, singing a tune that had no meaning, repeating it three times:

Ramidi ma ma ba di ma!
Ramidi ma ma din do!
Ramidi ma ma ba di ma!
Ramidi ma ma ba di mo!


Azazel flew back to Maxime's window, staring at her with longing. His voice rang with underlying coldness:

Is she really telling lies again?
Doesn't she realize...she's in danger?


Azazel growled and punched the brick wall next to the window, leaving a deep depression within it.

Is she not right?
Is she insane?
Will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
Is she not right?!
Is she insane?!
Will she now run for her life
now that she LIED TO ME!


A dark aura surrounded him, letting Azrael see how his old friend had succumbed to the darkness. He wasn't just evil...he had gone crazy!

The little bitch, she went and she told A LIE!
Now she will never tell another A LIE!
The little bitch, she went and she told A LIE!
NEVER FUCKING LIE TO ME!

The song ended and Azrael stared at the fallen angel, who was taring angrily first at him, then at Maxime, who was still sleeping peacefully.

"The darkness of her doul drives me crazy," Azazel said softly. "It grows, Azrael. It always does. That's why I always win."
"You are wrong this time," Azrael said. "This time, I won't fail."
Azazel laughed. "You can't force her to hate me, Azrael. We may be fallen, but we are still bound by an oath - we cannot interfere with a mortal's free will. They must always have the choice. Ans they always choose me because I can give them what they want. You can only offer them redemption, which they do not want. That's why you lose."
"They may not want it, but they need it," Azrael snapped. "I won't allow another to become like us, tainted with sin."
"They've been tainted since The Beginning. They're beyond saving."
"You're wrong."

Azazel stared at Azrael for a long while. Finally, Azazel sighed.

"Why do you try so hard to save them?" he asked.
Azrael looked taken aback. "Because...because they need to be saved. They should never feel what we're feeling - void, empty, cursed."
"You are no messiah, Azrael," Azazel said softly. "You're acting on guilt; you're trying to please Him. You think that by doing good He'll forgive you? That He'll open the Pearly Gates for you once more? Grow up, Azrael. We've been fallen for centuries and we're still not forgiven. Get this through that thick head of yours: penance can't EVER absolve your sin." His eyes looked sad, distant, lost. "No matter how many times you save someone, you'll never be forgiven Azrael. Never."

He spread his wings and flew off, leaving Azrael silent, hovering near Maxime's window. Azazel's words played over and over in his mind, burning into his memory...

"Penance can't absolve your sin..."

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40 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Mon 21 Jun 2010, 11:37

Azrael91


Disturbed One
Awesome! The chapter is really great! I can't wait to read the next one Smiley Face

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41 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Mon 21 Jun 2010, 13:55

4everDisturbed


Inside The Fire
rei this is amazing. im sorry to say that i have only taken the time to read chapters 1 and 9 XD. but jeez just from reading that and glancing at the others i realize how great this is. i have to say i was a little shaky at first because musicals aren't my thing, but this is disturbed hahaha hey could you make another thread after its finished with the full story? then ill be able to read it from beginning to end :) much appreciated

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42 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Tue 22 Jun 2010, 00:27

Disturbed1forEternity


God of the Mind
Whoa. Just keeps getting better. I await the next chapter patiently while working on a little something of my own.

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43 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Tue 22 Jun 2010, 12:01

Yumiyuri


Immortalized
4everDisturbed wrote:rei this is amazing. im sorry to say that i have only taken the time to read chapters 1 and 9 XD. but jeez just from reading that and glancing at the others i realize how great this is. i have to say i was a little shaky at first because musicals aren't my thing, but this is disturbed hahaha hey could you make another thread after its finished with the full story? then ill be able to read it from beginning to end :) much appreciated

sure xD

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44 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Thu 01 Jul 2010, 10:35

Yumiyuri


Immortalized
Okay guys, sorry to have kept you waiting. College entrance exams are coming up and I may update a little slower. But anyways, here's the next chapter! Hope you guys enjoy!!!

Chapter Ten

"Thank you all for coming to our last concert for now." Maxime smiled sadly at the fans before them. This concert was at the park again - their last performance because the twins would be leaving the next day. "Starting tomorrow, Bloody Rose will cease performing...until David and Dan get back from the battlefield."

The audience groaned, hating the heart-wrenching announcement. Maxime glanced back at David and Dan. They smiled sadly and nodded. When the crowd grew silent once more, Maxime took a deep breath and spoke again.

"We have decided to stop until they came back because...no one in the world could ever replace them." She fought back the tears welling up her eyes. "Bloody Rose will never be the same without Dan and David Michaels.

The park went still for a few moments, then, one-by-one, the crowds began to cheer. Maxime smiled and glanced again at the twins.

"So, let's make this night extra special. For you and for us," she said. "Let's all raise our fists to Dan and David Michaels!"

The crowd's cheers increased as the music began. They began to chant the band's name, their voices ringing throughout the park.

"SURVIVOR!" Maxime sang as Devon's drum beats swept everyone away. "SURVIVOR!"

One more goddamn day
When i know what I want
And my want will be considered tonight
Considered tonight

Just another day
When all that I want
Will mark me as a sinner tonight
I'm a sinner tonight yeah!


The audience roared as Dan, David, and Devon played like it was their instruments that kept them alive, kept their soul anchored to the world. Maxime sang louder:

People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of...
TEN THOUSAND FISTS IN THE AIR!!!


Maxime raised her fist high and everyone followed, screaming and cheering. In truth, the audience numbered more than a little over a hundred, but to Bloody Rose, they seemed more than that. Way more.

Power unrestrained
Dead on the mark
Is what we will deliver tonight
Deliver tonight

Pleasure fused with pain
This triumph of the soul
Will make you shiver tonight
Will make you shiver tonight yeah!

People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of...
TEN THOUSAND FISTS IN THE AIR!!!


Maxime stepped back and let David and Dan take the stage. Dan's fingers moved with lightning speed as David's bass thundered into the hearts of everyone present. Devon hammered away on the drums like there was no tomorrow, like there was only now, and they have a short time to make it count.

Maxime lowered her voice, whispering the same lines four times:

We are the ones who will open your mind
Leave the weak and the haunted behind


Then she gave it all she got, puring her soul into the song:

People can no longer cover their eyes
If this disturbs you then walk away
You will remember the night you were struck by the sight of...
TEN THOUSAND FISTS IN THE AIR!!!

TEN THOUSAND FISTS IN THE AIR!
TEN THOUSAND FISTS IN THE AIR!


When they reachedthe last beat, all the lights went out. The crowd cheered, knowing that they had just witnessed the best performance Bloody Rose had ever shown them.

"You were amazing," David said backstage.
Maxime grinned. "Just doing what I do best."
David smiled and hugged her. "I'm really going to miss you, Max."
"I'll miss you too, Dave." Tears welled up her eyes. "Come back safe, okay?"
"I will, I promise." David caressed her cheek then leaned down, giving her a soulful kiss. He wiped her tears away. "I've always loved you, Maxime."
"I love you too David," Maxime whispered.

Devon and Dan watched as they shared one more kiss. Dan pretended to gag while Devon slapped his arm.

Four months later...

"I miss them," Devon said softly as they stared at David and Dan's instruments from the couch. The guitar and bass were propped up against the drums.
Maxime sighed. "You're not the only one."
"It's not the same when they're not around."

The silence was broken when the phone suddenly rang. Maxime rushed to pick it up, hoping it was the twins.

"Hello?"
A familiar female voice answered her. "Hello? Maxime? Is that you?"
"Mrs. Michaels?" Why was the twins' mother calling? "Do you need anything? Is there something wrong"
"Yes, there is." Mrs. Michaels voice was choked, as if she had been crying. "David and Dan." Her voice broke. "They're...they're..."
"They're what? What is it Mrs. Michaels?!"
"They're dead! David and Dan are dead!"

As soon as she heard those words, the phone dropped from Maxime's hand.

I'm sorry guys, but I had to do it! A thousand apologies!








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45 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Thu 01 Jul 2010, 12:02

Disturbed1forEternity


God of the Mind
WHAT?! YOU CAN'T KILL DAN AND DAVID!! WHAT THE HELL?!

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46 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Sat 03 Jul 2010, 11:19

Vioz


Eye of the Storm
Nice job Sis :)
BUT HOW COULD YOU KILL THEM!?!?!?!?

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47 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Fri 09 Jul 2010, 06:46

Yumiyuri


Immortalized
Ten thousand apologies for what happened in the last chapter! It had to happen to get the story going.

This is one of my favorite chapters, so enjoy! xD

Chapter Eleven

The minute the phone clattered to the floor, Devon rushed from the couch to pick it up. She put it against her ear, seeing that Maxime seemed to have undergone a state of shock.

"Hello? Maxime? Hello?" Mrs. Michaels was still on the line.
"Mrs. Michaels?" Devon said softly.
"Devon...?" Mrs. Michaels' sobs could be heard loudly from the receiver. "Oh, Devon, I'm so sorry! Tell Maxime that I'm so sorry! They...they called me a week ago...They said...they said they couldn't wait to come home and see you girls again." She tried to stop crying but couldn't. "David...David said he was going to propose to Maxime...oh, I'm so sorry Devon!"

The line went dead and Devon caerfully put the phone down. Tears welled up her eyes - she already knew the horrible news.

"Max?" she put a hand on Maxime's shoulder. "Max...?"

Finally, Maxime jolted back to reality and looked at her. Then, she broke out in sobs, her knees giving way. Devon caught her as she began to cry too. They collapsed on the floor, grieving to their two friends who would never come home.

"They were ambushed - all of them," Mrs. Michaels said when she came to visit the next day. Her eyes were red from crying. "It was three days ago...My poor boys...Dan...David...my loving Anthony..."

Maxime and Devon sat in silence, trying to not break down again. They knew that crying wouldn't bring the twins back. Devon got up and held Mrs. Michaels in a warm hug. Maxime was staring past them, looking at Azazel, who was standing by the door. He grinned and disappeared.

"What do we do now, Max?" Devon asked.
Maxime dropped her gaze to the floor, her hands curling into fists. "We move on. It's the only option we have."
"Maxime," Mrs. Michaels said. She held out a beautiful silver ring with a diamond as the decoration. "David was going to give this to you...he was going to ask you to marry him. I...you can have it."

Maxime silently took the ring and slipped it on her finger. Tears glistened in her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

"What about the band?" Devon asked.
Maxime's gaze hardened. "Bloody Rose...doesn't exist anymore."

She was all alone in the apartment now. Maxime moved to David's bed, but as she got ready to crash, she couldn't help but be haunted by memories with the twins. Especially David...

That night, Azazel came for her again.

"I told you it was going to get worse for you," Azazel said from the darkness.
Maxime searched around blindly for him. "Leave me alone, you bastard!"

Suddenly, he was beside her, staring deep into her eyes. He looked so handsome...so tempting...

"You can still save your life," he said. "Give your soul to me."
"Never!" Maxime shouted. "Go away! Leave me the fuck alone!"
"You're going to, sooner or later, Maxime." His eyes flashed. "I'll sweeten your life with unimaginable pleasure. Better than David could give you..."

He leaned towards her, getting closer and closer. His lips were almost on hers...merely an inch away...

"NO!" she shoved at him. "This is just a crazy dream! You're not real!"
He chuckled. "I'm VERY real, Maxime. And I'll never stop tormenting you until you surrender to me."
Maxime frantically shook her head. "You're just a freaky, fucked up nightmare! None of this is true!"

Azazel's eyes glowed crimson. His wings extended to their full span as he began to sing:

So, are you breathing?
No, no!
Are you breathing?
So, are you breathing?
No!


A dark aura surrounded him and Maxime felt fear creeping up all over her. He wasn't an angel, he was a demon!

Wake up, are you alive
Will you listen to me
I'm gonna talk about some freaky shit now
Someone is gonna die
When you listen to me
Let the living die, Let the living die! (say)


Maxime jumped out of bed and ran out of the apartment. She could hear Azazel singing the stanza once more. The stairs seemed like an endless spiraling abyss; Maxime kept running, but she couldn't reach the bottom. Azazel's singing echoed through the walls and in her head. She clamped her hands over her ears, trying to block out the angel's voice. But it was no use, she could clearly hear him as if he was right there beside her.

Are you breathing, no?
Do the wicked see you?
You still breathing?
You're making me known
Are you breathing, no?
Do the wicked see you?
You still breathing?


Azazel suddenly appeared before her, his eyes bright red, an evil grin fixed upon his face. Maxime screamed and stumbled back as the demons around him laughed and grabbed at her.

What's up? I wonder why?
Do you listen to me?
I'm gonna make you do some freaky shit now
Insane, you're gonna die
When you listen to me
Let the living die, let the living die! (say)


The angel repeated the stanza and Maxime cried out in pure terror. uddenly, she found herself back in bed, Azazel's voice still echoing in her head and through the apartment.

Are you breathing, no?
Do the wicked see you?
You still breathing?
You're making me known
Are you breathing, no?
Do the wicked see you?
You still breathing?

Maxime clamped her hands over her ears again, but she could still hear Azazel's whispers, feel his breath tickling her nape. His hands were caressing her all over, tempting her with the promise of pleasure.

Can't you imagine how good going through this will make you feel?
I promise, no one will ever know
There will be no chance of you getting caught
They never loved you anyway
So come on, be mine
And do what you are compelled to do


"Save me God!"
Maxime cried her voice sounding off the walls.

She curled into a tight ball, her eyes squeezed shut, praying that Azazel would go away. But she knew he was there, still bent on claiming her soul as his.

I can hear his voice, Maxime whispered to herself
But I don't want to listen
Strap me down and tell me I'll be alright
I can feel the subliminal need
To be one with the voice and make everything all...


She could still hear Azazel's seductive teases, so she shouted to herself, trying to block him out.

I can hear his voice!
But I don't want to listen!
Strap me down and tell me I'll be alright!
I can feel the subliminal need
To be one with the voice and make everything alright!


The angels' voice overpowered hers, drowning her cries.

Are you breathing, no?
Do the wicked see you?
You still breathing?
You're making me known
Are you breathing, no?
Do the wicked see you?
You still breathing?

Finally, Maxime couldn't take it anymore. Eager to get his voice out of her head, she rushed towards the window.

So, are you breathing?
So, do you breathe no, no?
So, are you breathing?
So, do you breathe no?!


Maxime jumped out the window, crashing through it, embracing death...

Her eyes snapped open and she sat up, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. She looked around blindly.

She was alone.


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48 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Fri 09 Jul 2010, 13:40

Disturbed1forEternity


God of the Mind
This is crazy! GOD! So, are you breathing?

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49 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Sat 10 Jul 2010, 12:07

Yumiyuri


Immortalized
is that a good feedback? xD

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50 Re: Believe (A Disturbed Musical) on Sat 10 Jul 2010, 12:27

Disturbed1forEternity


God of the Mind
Yes, that's good feedback. That section was insane and I eagerly await the next section.

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