David Draiman Talking about the song FAÇADE


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Bowers


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thx for posting :)

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Well, I listened to this and have to post my personal opinion. True, women do not have to put up with it, but until you have actually been in that situation yourself, you really have no idea. I have! I know from personal experience for 25+ years what it is like exactly!!! It's way more difficult than a lot of people think especially if you've been with someone for so long and your job is a housewife and you have no other skills. Where do you go? Everyone always says shelter or family. You don't want that because you have too much pride!!! It takes a lot more to get out of an abusive situation than people think.



Last edited by LadyCorruption on Fri 14 Aug 2009, 14:39; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : misspell)

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disturbedlepgirl


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LadyCorruption wrote:Well, I listened to this and have to post my personal opinion. True, women do not have to put up with it, but until you have actually been in that situation yourself, you really have no idea. I have! I know from personal experience for 25+ years what it is like exactly!!! It's way more difficult than a lot of people think especially if you've been with someone for so long and your job is a housewife and you have no other skills. Where do you go? Everyone always says shelter or family. You don't want that because you have too much pride!!! It takes a lot more to get out of an abusive situation than people think.


I was there too. For 12 years I was physically, mentally, and emotionally abused. I left him and was divorced two years this 23rd of March and worked my ass off at my very first job in years to get where I am today. Its not easy to leave someone who takes away every sense of respect and confidence in yourself. He broke me down to nothing. I felt like nothing. I wanted to kill myself but I lived for my two kids who I couldnt' bare to see growing up watching this especially my daughter. No one can tell you what to do in this situation you have to just get to that point where you have to leave and you are at the bottom. When your ribs are bruised and you have black eyes, it still doesn't convince you to leave. SOmething has to snap in your head before you do. This song reminds me everyday what I went through and how far I came. It actually makes me proud of what I've gotten away from.

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Stricken_Mistress


Inside The Fire
I don't personally know about this. When my father was abusing me though, I mean, during the first and only act of abuse, I kept thinking do I want to just be quiet and continue with this sense of "normalcy"? I liked my mom and my dad being together. I didn't want them to break apart again. I finally felt like I belonged. But, I also wondered if I could live with myself. Or if I let him do it this time, would he do it again? That's why I fought back. But, stuff like this, it never leaves you. It becomes the stain that you can't wash clean no matter how hard you scrub. It does way more to you mentally than physically. It's exactly like he said, "unforgivable". I'm so sorry that you two had to endure this. But, it made you that much stronger, right?

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disturbedlepgirl


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It does make you stronger for sure. But it not only stays with you its hard to trust. Guys are a big issue for me. I love men don't get me wrong and I know there are fantastic guys out there. I have alot of male friends who i get along with great because of my personality being so tomboy, but inside your afraid of what could happen if you get involved. Luckily, its been a year and a half since my last relationship and my boyfriend chose his job over me, so i have had time to heal and get back to me and my kids more so its much better than before.

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Stricken_Mistress


Inside The Fire
Well, I'm certainly glad that you got away from it.

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disturbedlepgirl


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Me too:)

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GuiltyPleasures


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I have to agree with what David said about this subject. I have trouble listening to Facade because of the subject matter, because I've known people who have gone through this and managed to get away from their abusers. And some who didn't get away without being practically beaten down to nothing.

On a personal note, I, too, was in an abuse relationship. My ex husband was and still is a very insecure man. No one took him seriously, discounted his concerns, etc. when he was young. He felt he had no control. He wanted control over someone, and who better than a young (19 when I married him. He was 24)wife and eventually 4 children. He didn't beat me, all his abuse was mental, psychological and emotional. It took me a while to "get it" because I was in the mindset that if the marriage fell apart, I'd have no way to support myself and my kids. When I did get it, I asked him to leave. He didn't go quietly. We separated in 1998 and divorced in 2005.

Years later, my older sons told me that their father physically abused them, and never told me because they thought I knew what he was doing. It hurt me to my soul to hear that because I had no idea he was taking his frustrations out on them, too.

But now, we are all better people for it, and know that is not normal. My ex on the other hand still refuses to acknowledge that he did anything wrong.

I'll never be put in that position again.

Karma's a bitch. I feel sorry for him when Karma comes a-callin'...



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disturbedlepgirl


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Damn good for you for getting out though. It sticks with you no matter what you do about it. But one thing you can always rely on is others out there that share your story and can relate to it and you aren't alone.
I think that the one thing that most people don't understand, anyone who hasn't been there before anyway, is that we weren't weak, we weren't mindless idiots who are with these men because it was fun, or we like it. For some of us it was all we ever knew. I can understand his analytical mind on the subject but he's also way smarter than these guys we ended up with and I'm really happy to see there are guys out there like him in the world. I'm still looking for my 'prince charming' in the world. And at 34 with two kids that's really hard between working and the kids, but i know that one day , hopefully anyway, he will come along and see past the wounded soul and heart and not think i was weak in what i put up with but see the strength i gained from getting out of it and rising from the ashes so to speak:P In this country so many women have low self esteem and this is a big reason why. I'm glad there are people like us out there to show the world we may have gone through it, but we got out of it too.

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